Friday, 30 March 2012

Five Minutes a Day: Sixteen (Pasty Tax)

I’ve been thinking about the pasty tax. Here’s a list of reasons why paying taxes in the currency of pasties, as opposed to pounds sterling, would be a good idea.

1. The Royal Mail isn’t doing too well.
Sending a few million pasties, first class, to the Inland Revenue would raise some much-needed funds.

2. It would be much easier to conceptualise storing assets offshore
Just picture vaults in Switzerland full of mounds of pastry, or Jersey as a pasty haven.

3. It would discourage tax avoidance
There are only so many pasties one person can need.

4. It would be easy to spot government officials embezzling tax funds
Prescott, I’m looking at you.

Possible drawbacks
1. Pasties eventually go stale
Some might criticize the Chancellor of the Exchequer, claiming that it’s unwise to collect taxes in a form that inexorably depreciates.

2. How would online payment work?
Would you find people trying to force pasties into their computers’ CD trays?

3. How would you fund services?
Unless all civil servants agreed to accept pasties as payment...

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