Sunday 29 December 2019

Festive Party Foods

Prawn Ring
Beef Cube
Ham Tesseract
Chicken Cylinders
Tofu Venus de milo
Quorn Henge

(This post was going to contain photoshops, but then my brother walked in on me photoshopping packaging for a quorn henge and I questioned my life choices. We watched a film instead.)

Thursday 5 December 2019

Steel

To do this job, you need nerves of steel. And a neck of rubber. And a nose made of marzipan. To be honest, it helps if you have a thorax of lithium. And alabaster feet. And ankles of weetabix. And amethyst shins. To do this job, ideally, you should have nylon ears. And thighs of dough. And marshmallow teeth.

I am not entirely sure what this job is.