Thursday, 19 July 2012

Books that publishers rejected

Harry Potter and the Ofsted inspection (J. K. Rowling)
“Mr Dumbledore”, the inspector continued “I have no doubt that you provide these children with a riveting environment, one in which all sorts of marketable could ‘adventures’ occur, but don’t you think that you should adhere to some sort of curriculum?” Dumbledore shuffled awkwardly. “And what about fire exits?” the inspector continued. “Surely you should make some sort of contingency plan for premises that can be accessed only by a single train”.

The Dragon with the Girl Tattoo (Larsson)

Mr Ennui (Roger Hargreaves)
Mister Ennui had a nagging doubt that no aspects of his life had any real significance, hence the name. He lived in a small house in Happyland, which he shared with a budgerigar, two white cats, and a growing sense of unease. “All my friends are one dimensional,” thought Mister Ennui, as he checked his post, discarding postcards from Mr Happy, Mr Strong, and Mister Tall.

American Physio (Bret Easton Ellis)

Fifty Shades of Grey,
or ‘An almost comprehensive guide to the tarmacs, aggregates, asphalts, and concretes of Greater London and the Lower Lee Valley’

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