Thursday, 30 August 2012

Guided Tour

Hello, and welcome to this guided tour of Renaissance and Seventeenth Century art. My name is John, and I’ll be your guide for the hour.

Now this painting is ‘The Last Supper’, so called because it’s the last evening meal the artist ever painted. His body of work after this mostly consists of pictures of kittens in boxes.

And if you all look to your left now, we can scare that child who’s standing with her back to us when she turns around.

Actually, if you look behind the child, you’ll see a doorway. If you want to head through that door after the tour, be sure to take a knife with you: a few years ago we had a Damien Hirst piece that was self-assembly, and the tiger arrived before the formaldehyde.

This work over here, entitled ‘Four midgets relay race against a camel’ is one of my favourites. It took the artist eight years to complete. And I think, what’s interesting about this piece is the lack of perspective. I mean, this was the seventeenth century! You were probably only going to live for thirty years, what are you doing spending eight of them painting?

Right, any questions?

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