Ways to waste time (#1)

Do you find yourself with a few minutes going spare?
Have you exhausted all your usual time dissipation techniques?
I have a suggestion.

Try watching ‘Cash4Gold’ adverts and transposing ‘child’ for ‘valuable, inert metal’.

“With the price of toddlers, adolescents and children at their highest value in decades, Cash4Kids is able to give you a great deal for your unwanted offspring.”