Extremely Ergonomic

Dear all, 

Some of the longer-serving staff members may be sad to hear that Craig Wilson, from accounts, is no longer processing PO’s with the efficiency and wit that we came to know and love. The Finance Department ordered him a new ergonomic chair, but accidentally ordered an extremely ergonomic chair, which he sat in, and refused to leave. According to Debora (from payroll) his eyes rolled back in glorious ecstasy, and he started moaning gently to himself and dribbling. They tried talking to him, but he seemed unable to hear them, and when they attempted to forcibly remove him from the chair, he began to bite and kick anyone who came within distance of his jaws and/or feet. He’s just slowly atrophying away, in his office on the second floor, and a state of furniture-induced euphoria. Accordingly, unpaid invoices should instead be forwarded for the attention of Danny Clevinger.
Additionally, if you spot an extremely ergonomic chair, DO NOT SIT IN IT.

Yours, 

Aiden