Unnecessary journeys

Following a decrease in wind speeds, a drop in flood water levels, and a press conference, the government has informed drivers that it’s now okay to make unnecessary journeys. Drivers are welcome to go up the M6 to check if Scotland still exists, or to chauffer crisp packets to the nearest recycling plant because they like the irony, or to drive to Croydon to tell a vague acquaintance about a dream they had the night before, where a man travelled back in time in an attempt to become his own uncle.