Lesser known facts about zombies

1. The word zombie comes from the Latin ‘zombus’ meaning ‘lumbering threat suitable for a feature-length film’.

2. Zombies were not originally interested in brains. The first zombies, which appeared in a silent film in 1918, were originally after ‘body’. This was changed after they were accused of being shallow.

3. British zombies cannot over-ride the ‘happy birthday’ reflex: the duty to join in with a rendition of ‘happy birthday to you’ is so deeply ingrained that, should someone start singing the song, all reanimated corpses will stop attempting to eat you, and growl “hurgh- purgh- burgh-duh tee-oo”.

The Amish

In some Amish communities, there is a tradition whereby the teenagers go out and explore the world. Very few return. Not because they've changed; they have no idea how traffic lights work.

Life Drawing

A: "I think you can tell a lot about a person's essay-writing style from the way they approach life-drawing. In my case, I find that I start at the wrong scale, and find it hard to fit the whole body on the paper..."

B: "I think you might be onto something; I usually start drawing one part in really fine detail, then lose interest in the rest"

C "Yeah, mine always seem to contain naked people"

An Apology

Sorry for the lack of posts; I'm currently working on a script project for Oxide radio.
In the interim, please accept this picture of some armadillo armour:

Performance-related pay

Actors should have performance-related pay, executives paid on commission, and removal companies according to the shifts they’ve done.

Definitions

Monologue
One person talking.

Dialogue
Two people talking.

Catalogue
A paper doorstop.

It's not yours

“Joe, we need to talk. I’m not pregnant.”
“That’s great news.”
“Well, the thing is, I think it’s not yours.”
“Not mine?”
“Yes. You remember that time that we didn’t have sex? You should, we were both very sober”
“Was that just after we didn’t go to Kate’s leaving thing?”
“Yes, well, I think it didn’t happen then.”
...
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, I just... I just didn’t expect not to be a father so soon.”
“Would you – “
“I hadn’t thought about not supporting a child.”
“Will you – “
“Tell you what, I won’t sell my car.”
“Oh Joe, I don’t love you!”
“I don’t love you either.”