Coffee

The newspapers had printed a scoop. Coffee both cured and caused cancer. It cancelled out as long as you'd drunk an even number of cups. Arnold sat in his kitchenette, on the counter next to the microwave. The cup of coffee cooled next to him. Should he chance it?

Marriage

Mary drooled on the coach window. It left a long string, marking her trajectory. Marko wondered whether, over the years, she had grown steadily more repulsive, or he had grown steadily less tolerant.

The Reunion

Steve Porter was kicked to death by a unicorn. It was all anyone would talk about at the reunion. Graham wanted to tell Stacey about his promotion (from Regional Sales Manager to Manager for Regional Sales), but she was too busy crying. Bloody Steve Porter. Bloody unicorns.

The Mind Reader

Ben Walsh was a mind reader. The mind that he could read belonged to a Mister Eric Lee of Croydon. Eric spent a lot of time thinking that he might be late, and that he should really buy a new hose. All in all, it wasn't a useful skill.

An Oral-B advert I imagined while half-watching late night telly

A woman stands in a brightly-lit room. She wears white. She smiles like her paycheck depends on it.

I asked my dentist which worked better - manual brushing or an electric toothbrush. She turned to me and said do we always have to talk about oral hygeine, Sandra? I'm a human being with thoughts and feelings and aspirations but every time we meet you bombard me with questions. It's like you don't see me as anything other than a dentist. Flossing or mouthwash, you ask. Sensodyne or Colgate, you cry. Well, Sandra, when was the last time you asked about me? Did you know that Gary left me, Sandra? Did you know that he took the kids? Did you, Sandra? Did you really?

But, erm, yeah. Definitely an electric toothbrush.

Midhurst

On the day that the statue fell, Midhurst and I met for brunch. We watched the crowds from the café’s window. It hadn’t been political. It was just poorly constructed. It crushed a policeman. We agreed that it was a powerful metaphor, but we couldn’t say what for.

Thought contagion // Muse

A bit of vector art practice, inspired by the video for Muse's new song, Thought Contagion: